HELLO LIFE

WHOW ! Where to start... actually long time enough not writing some stories in my blog and... taraaaa !!!

my life seems changing. I get up and clear all stressnes that even stay for long time in my head and my life.

whoa, I feel like I grow up. I consider things are not that hard, we live for things, the things we need to learn, then learning things make us who we are. make what we aware of the mature person, of take things logically because not all things need to take emotionally and too deeply because we are young, and forever has long long way of changing things.

life shape me, shape my way of thinking. I love the way life goes on everyday, that everyday is a laughter, a new adventure, new experiences, new mind to be grow, new things to share to closet people you use to love.. family, friends. there is a point in life that people never realize this but really common words..

thankful

you know how many people want to live you live? how many people needs to things you never consider as the worth things, if you count how many people in your life that love you, will you still complain about things you never had about life you always dreaming?

I feel like I have no boyfriend because boys don't always make my priority in my life, mine is my priority. I am not that kinda girl that desperate over guys and feel wud likely to die if I have not one. don't be the girl that needs a man. they said; stand on your own feet, if you have no feet stand on whichever it is.

thankyou Allah of whatever it is I've been through, of things I think bite me too much yet actually build me up either.

I love all the people that fit in my life... parents, family, bestfriends, friends, xoxo.

I love you the most Allah. if there any most of the most you'll be to me, God. you show me the way within my prays.. you taught me the life I neve expect and HULA, this is me and my happiness :)

your so called

Letter to YOU... and GOD.

Ps: read carefully...

Once upon a time i thought that was easy to meet your so called soulmate. But the more we grow up..

fact told all of us, it isnt as easy as it seems. Its hard as hell.

Its like you let yourself talking to the wall.. let your eyes dry itself knowing that the wall has never ever talking back.

Like how idiot you are. Like you can’t even think youre smart enough to think about it.

Thats what i know about being absolutely head underfeet, upside down.

When everything seems far from perfect, at first you got it so call perfectly comfortable perfect but you surely had to left it instead of let it ran by fate,

by something better off that way, by something you surely knew you couldn’t ever got it back but you gotta leave,

by something you have been crying for years, by something everyone says their understanding when they trully aren’t.

What is it God? Life is a choice, I know. But do I look like taking choice which will hurting myself after all?

God I’m never tired of praying, but I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of dying. I’m tired of looking.

As a good song said “is true love just once in a lifetime?” then is that true love is the both parties would feel the same way,

Or is it just one side who will always being suffer? God...... this pain is just too real.

I’m exactly trying to show you that i’m though and rough, but years can prove you well, I can’t.

I can’t keep pretending. God.. I wanna get over it. I really want. But everytime I’m trying, life fails me.

Dear first love who’s I bet you know you’re the one and you had said it too (even you may dont feel it anymore)...

you did. You absolutely did. You win my heart out of the guys i’ve been fall in love with. Remember like... i’ve been attached to you for 4 years.

That’s when I said high school had a real story. One of the biggest story is about you... and you... and always you.

The 1st grade i fell in love with you, 2nd grade the feeling went strong and fate let us knew how beautiful faithful it was, 3th grade I can’t stop cried for you.

When graduated I feel like the one who always pretend I can let you be with someone else. I tried, I’m trying to find another you, there isn’t.. there isn’t everywhere.

Especially not that someone like you, but someone who I can feel for you, and someone who prove me right “I am more-than-special, to you.”

I’m sorry it was not a dumped.. everyone knows. Its because I know you’ll be happy without me, you’ll be happy with your own life.

And I prove you right : ‘) I’m glad you are. So I did.. I did.. I win to make you happy with my choice.

But I can’t... I can’t stop....

Yours sincerely,

Your so called first love